In Cleveland, Ohio, Anita Klepek has made the news after eating a perfectly normal amount of food in front of a group of friends without claiming that this was the first meal she had all day.
The co-workers she was eating with were apparently expecting the proclamation for the entire meal but when they’d all gotten back to the office, several took note that it had never happened and were struck by the bravery of Anita. “I’ve never seen someone eat such an average amount of food without making sure everyone knew that this was all they’d had to eat all day,” one co-worker said while another remarked, “I don’t know where she gets the bravery to do something like that, but I’ll have what she’s having! …just so you know, I haven’t had any bravery all day…”
Even though every human being consumes food with the exception of Elon Musk, many of us find it difficult to admit that we do in front of others, even while in the middle of doing it. “When I’m alone, I never eat,” Jeremy Piven said when asked for comment, “When I’m with other people I eat one meal a day, unless of course I’m with that group of people all day in which case I’ll eat two or even three. If I’m with that first group for the morning, and that second group during the evening I’ll have eaten one meal that day twice. It’s so hard being the Pivster.”
The burden that comes with being someone that openly eats three meals a day is one that many of us are unable to shoulder, leaving us to eat alone in our cars in the Burger King parking lot or, if even confronting the drive-thru service window is too much, digging through the dumpster behind a Wendy’s and licking clean a discarded Frosty cup. Anita is different, however. Anita is a hero to us all.
If we could all be a little more like Anita and stand tall while eating three or more meals a day and not feeling bad about it, this world would be a better place.
When reached for comment, Anita responded: “I forgot to say I hadn’t eaten all day!? But I had fourteen french fries and a small soda! They must think I’m a disgusting pig monster! Do you have their home numbers!? I NEED THEIR HOME NUMBERS!!!”