CLEVELAND- Kate Stanford is not, by any stretch, a fan of the song Rock You Like A Hurricane by The Scorpions, yet whenever she hears it played on the radio she finds herself listening to completion for reasons that she wanted to get to the bottom of. So Kate got into contact with someone who proclaimed to be a scientist at her local corner store and participated in a series of tests to discover why she felt compelled to listen to the song.
The scientist, who went by the name Tas but many believe couldn’t possibly be a name, set out to help Kate discover what it was about Rock You Like A Hurricane that she felt so drawn to by connecting a series of electric nodes and small suction cups to several locations on her body while instructing her to cough. Kate found the test simple but confusing as to how it was going to help solve the question they set out to answer, which she expressed to Tas, who then concocted another experiment.
Tas told Kate that if she were to hop on one foot while holding one nostril and both eyes closed during the entire duration of the song, it would give him the data he needed to determine what it was that had her so drawn to the popular Scorpions song.
After the test was complete, Kate found her apartment empty with no sign of Tas. Assuming it was all a part of the experiment, she unfortunately did not contact the police for several days.
If anyone knows of Tas’ location or why the songRock You Like A Hurricane is so difficult for women like Kate to turn off, please get in touch with The Trashcan with any information you believe might be helpful. We at The Trashcan would also like to take this opportunity to remind people that real scientists don’t generally hang out at corner stores, bus stations or the Port Authority looking for projects. Real scientists are usually found indoors doing science with names on their offices or at the very least sporting either well-kept facial hair and shabby clothing or huge, bushy beards with clothing nicer than that a vagabond, but never both at the same time.