We’re Sick Of The Police Coming Down On Our Non-Nonviolent Protests

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By the Nation Rifle Association

We violent Americans have just as much of a right to protest as our nonviolent counterparts, and you’re lucky we don’t want more. We could take it, you know. We could kick your sorry asses from here to wherever we run out of bullets. But we don’t, because we believe that every man (and in a few isolated instances women) deserve a place in this world. That includes you peaceful liberal types just as much as it includes us warmongering gun nuts. We acknowledge your right to peacefully protest, for the most part, and it’s about time you started respecting our right to a violent protest. Case in point: what happened in Colorado yesterday.

It’s no secret that the Christian Right isn’t a big fan of Planned Parenthood or the police, but we respect their right to exist. And while we respect that they have the right to exist, we also want our voices to be heard. The way we do that? Murdering a great deal of people for little or no reason. Some would say we’re acting out like a child trying to get a cookie, while others say that we’re just flat-out sociopaths. I feel that both accusations are reductive and mean-spirited. We don’t make fun of those hippie-dippy lovefests that you call protests. Taking peyote and fucking someone that’s too high to do anything but concentrate on breathing isn’t going to make a difference. Shooting half a dozen cops, however, is going to grab a lot of people’s attention. Then we get the cookie.

That’s the difference between you lefties and us; we get what we want. You never will, not completely. We use fear to control people and force you into trying to convince them that there’s nothing to be afraid of. But there is and there always will be. There’s always another “bad guy” out there just waiting to get blown out of proportion. We’ve always gotta be ready for the next bad guy. Maybe it’ll be nothing or maybe it’ll be Hitler again, whose to say? Nobody sees a Hitler coming. That’s the thing about Hitler; he comes out of nowhere. One minute your country seems like it’s in an economic boom, you’re at the parlor eating hamburgers and wiener schnitzels then bam! Concentration Camps.

I’m not saying that America is as bad as Nazi Germany, but what I am saying is that it might as well be. Our right to take the lives of the people we don’t agree with has been trampled on for the last time. Who do these cops think they are, not just lying down and dying? It is not your place to participate in protests and every officer that had anything to do with stopping Mr. Dear’s protest should have to turn their badges and especially their guns in. I can’t believe that anyone even gave you maniacs guns. That sort of thing needs to be more regulated when it comes to you people.

We don’t want cops on our side. Most of them don’t even know the three agreed upon uses for guns: hunting, target practice and expressing yourself. You just use your guns to help the government keep people down. You’re the worst kind of scum there is. The kind of scum that oils the machine, keeps it running, no matter how many people slip between the gears and conveyer-belt things. The trains run on time, sure, but we’ve got nowhere to go. Not anywhere important, at least. Not as long as we keep repeating the past. Keep making that same mistake, keeping an angry minority down until they’re so damn mad they’re going to explode and do as much damage as they possibly can. We gun owners are about to reach that point. Now that we aren’t even allowed to protest, this tea kettle is about to start boiling, and there isn’t anyone here man enough to make us stop making that horrible whistling sound.

We gun owners may be the minority, but we still have all the guns.