Trump Fires Checks, Has Eye On Balances

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WASHINGTON, DC- Since last night’s firing of James Comey, Americans have anxiously awaited Trump’s next move as President. They didn’t have to wait long.

Reports out of the White House indicate that Trump has removed the concept of Checks, the idea of having separate entities watch over each other to make sure that no one branch becomes to powerful, from the premises.

Trump’s critics have, as always, latched onto this as yet another “Hitler-esque” move on the President’s part and even those that consider themselves centrists believe that it may be a step too far. Our entire political system has always been built on the foundation that the people control the government, not the other way around. Yet Trump seems to challenge this notion at just about every turn.

Those close to Trump believe that he’ll be asking Balances resignation next, though he might not even have to. Word in DC is that Balances is so upset about Checks losing their job after working for this country since it’s inception that many believe that it’s only a matter of time before Balances walks out that door and leaves us all to fend for ourselves.

“You guys made this mess. I didn’t elect this guy,” Balances told a close friend who evidently isn’t very good at keeping a secret, “Nobody does this shit to my boy Checks. I should just take off right now is what I should do. Checks probably needs me. He never takes this sort of shit well.”

In this increasingly bizarre world we live in under the Trump Presidency, we at The Trashcan try to focus on the positive sides of life, like going to the park or most likely dying before being forced to watch your children melt.