In a year chocked full of some pretty impressive celebrity deaths, it was no easy task to compile a list of the best. The factors to take into consideration are many and the scales in which to weigh them are convoluted at best, but we at The Trashcan believe that this list is as comprehensive, accurate and well, pretty much infallible as a team of human beings are capable of producing. So, let’s get started.
10) Abe Vigoda
Certainly not a shocking death by any means, Abe Vigoda has not only looked like he was on the verge of death for the last several decades, but has even been the butt of many “how-is-he-not-dead-yet” jokes for as long as many of us can remember from a recurring bit on Conan to a website dedicated to letting fans know when the celebrity had finally passed this mortal coil. While death is never a positive, it’s hard to say that Abe, who was in both the Godfather and Barney Miller and died at the ripe old age of 94 didn’t lead a long, interesting life.
9) Dave Mirra
X Games legend and BMX spokesperson Dave Mirra took his own life in February of this year after a long drawn-out battle with Tony Hawk for x-stream sports video game supremacy. Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX series may have never had the numbers or acclaim of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, it was a video game. Two of them, in fact. Nothing will ever be able to take that away from Dave Mirra’s legacy. He died tragically at 41 with many more kickflips and wheelies to give to the world.
8) Antonin Scalia
Finally a win. With Scalia out of the picture, this left President Obama able to choose a new Supreme Court Justice. Unfortunately, Obama was too busy reading about the migration patterns of the Vietnamese Horned Owl to choose a Justice before his term was up and Trump assumed office. No matter who Trump chooses, however, it’s hard to imagine a world where Scalia will be missed. He lived to 79.
7) Philip Seymour Hoffman
At the beginning of the year, this seemed like it was going to be a big one and I’m sure you’re as surprised to see it this low on the list as everyone at The Trashcan, but it’s been an unfortunate year to say the least. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a character actor that defied the usual obscurity that many character actors find themselves in with his charming personality, sense of humor about himself and immense talent. The Boogie Nights and The Big Lebowski star died at the tender age of 46.
6) Alan Rickman
Known best for appearing in the Harry Potter films as professor Dumbledore, Alan Rickman was a household name even before that after starring in the Kevin Smith “comedy” Dogma alongside Hollywood juggernauts such as Jason Mewes and Ethan Suplee. The actor may have been often typecast as the good-looking hero that would always save the day by flexing a muscle or two while cracking wise, he was also impressive in the role of the brother of the villain in Die hard 3.
5) Carrie Fisher
One of the more recent deaths of this year, Carrie Fisher was a writer, an outspoken feminist, and actor most known for her role as Sulu in Star Trek: Deep Space 9. She was also just about the hottest creature we’d ever seen in our lives. When you think of Carrie Fisher, it’s hard not to imagine her wearing that silver jumpsuit on the flight deck with Captain Spock and Mr. Klingon. It’s even harder not to feel all the blood rush to your genitals while thinking of that particular scene. She died at age 60 and will be sorely missed.
4) Debbie Reynolds
The Singin’ in the Rain star and mother of Carrie Fisher lived a long, fruitful life in Hollywood and passed away only one day after her daughter. Most know Debbie as the creator of the Lil’ Debbie snack cakes but those close to her knew her as a bright spot on their lives. Many believe that the heartbreak of losing her daughter the day before was too much for her while doctors say that she suffered a stroke. It’s difficult to know for sure, but at age 84 it’s hard to say that Debbie hadn’t lived a full life.
3) Fidel Castro
The cigar connoisseur and political dabbler Fidel Castro’s death was one mourned by many as his particular brand of cigar, the Fidel-erist Papers, died with him. Only he held the recipe and he locked it away in a safe that would self-destruct upon his death. Many believed the safe to be a joke but not ten minutes after he died their was a loud explosion in the capitol of Cuba and the recipe and a large chunk of an adjacent children’s hospital were erased from existence.
2) David Bowie
One of those rare musicians that was actually talented, David Bowie shuffled off into the next world leaving the rest of us to listen to crap music for days on end with no relief in sight. Losing a long battle to cancer, many believed that Bowie could have fought just a little bit harder so that he could make new music that we weren’t listening to anyway. The pop star will be sorely missed for decades to come, especially after recent word has gotten out of a Labyrinth sequel written and directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp. God help us all. Bowie died at the age of infinite.
1) My Sister
I feel a little unqualified talking about this one as I haven’t spoken to her in years and feel that I barely know her, Janelle Colucci was, from what I can remember, a beautiful, warm person with a personality and charm that could set the world on fire if it so chose. Losing touch with her in her final years is something I will probably regret for the rest of my life but something I just simply had to do as she was so sick towards the end and I think that kind of stuff is yucky. She lived a long, fruitful life that tragically ended at age 23.