The Name’s Bannon but My Friends Call Me Goebbels


By Stephen Bannon

I’ve been chosen by President Elect Donald Trump to be his Chief Strategist, but worry not; I do not plan to divide this country. I plan to unite it. To energize those that feel they have been abandoned by the system to take their rightful places as civic leaders, not matter their skin color, their nationality, but first I just have one question:

Is it wrong to have pride in your own race?

Only for the white man is it consider offensive to take pride in your own skin color. Why is that? Why can I not look in the mirror and feel like God got it exactly right? Why must I be outwardly ashamed of the color of my skin? White people have done great things. Many of these great things may have been done while suppressing others from doing great things, or from the work we forced upon them, but great things were done none the less and we put white men’s names all over them. That was not a fluke, that was not a mistake, that was great men taking great pride in the work they brought out of others and I fail to see how they should be ashamed of that work.

When a black woman shows that she thinks of other black women first, she is not shunned by society. She is not insulted by being called racist. Quite the opposite, in fact. She is told she is strong, that she is powerful. She is awarded for her bravery. The double standard hangs in the air unchecked; that those with pride in their race mustn’t be white. Why is that, I wonder? Why is it that the race that is clearly on top and has been on top for as long as humanity can remember (roughly 200 years) must pretend that they are less than for fear of appearing “racist” but those that do not and should not have pride in their meager accomplishments should pat themselves on the back each day as if they have overcome some great hardship in even getting out of the bed in the morning? Name me one non-white male that has done a service to humanity. Well, okay, that’s a good one. Yeah, she was pretty important, I’ll give you that. True, we wouldn’t have a civilization if it weren’t for them. Yeah, alright, I’ll give you that one too. Yeah, fine, that was a pretty good band. Okay, okay, enough! My point still stands.

In the process of finding equality mankind leaves its best and greatest behind. Instead of looking for the best man for the job, you look for the best minority, greatly reducing the talent pool so that you can find those that are less than. Does some of that have to do with a language, social, economical or cultural differences not translating from job applicant to job recipient leaving hundreds of thousands of people that come from different backgrounds than those that are job creators? No, I don’t think so. I think that true greatness will always shine through in a job interview setting. Who isn’t their best and brightest while trying to explain to someone why they are in fact great but those socially-inept geniuses out there? How do you think Einstein got to where he is today, an all-white cemetery? He crushed it in the social skills department. Sure he couldn’t tie his shoes, but he could give one hell of a job interview.

People are often criticized for saying things like “I think the job should go to whoever is most qualified” in response to criticism of affirmative action, but how is that wrong? How is wrong that just because the person doing the qualifying is a straight white male, that somehow that person is going to be able to identify better with people that came from similar backgrounds and educations as them and give the job to whoever they can understand better on a fundamental level and I think that is absolutely absurd. You truly have so little faith in the straight white man that you think that just because the system has been leaning in his favor for the entire duration of this country that he is somehow biased? You say that women and minorities, who have had the same employment opportunities for nearly fifty years, have failed to get the foothold that the white man was handed at birth and you think that is on the white man? That is on the women and minorities.

Let’s face it; they just aren’t as qualified as productive members of society. Many make claim that since the society is broken against their favor that perhaps they have no interest in embracing it, that perhaps they are more interested in upheaving it and to those people I say bring it. The white man will stand as tall tomorrow as he did yesterday and the other will prove their ineptitude, or perhaps they won’t. Perhaps they will stand shoulder-to-should with the white man, not quite touching but a couple inches away, separated but equals. I was able to do it with nothing but a formal education and everything in my favor from birth, it shouldn’t be difficult for you. Is it not those that live the most difficult lives that rise to meteoric heights? I never had that. I’m jealous of that.

Even with everything always going my way I was able to reach greatness. Had I had a more challenging life, who knows what I could have accomplished? Perhaps I could be the President this coming January instead of my least intelligent friend? It’s impossible to know as I was not given the gift of diversity. I had to live with my crippling whiteness. I had to look in the mirror every morning and see something incredibly plain, painfully dull. My lack of uniqueness hurt me deeply for most of my life until one day I woke up and said, “No. Today I will be proud. Today I will be white. Today I will show the world who I really am and I will not feel shame for it! I will no longer hide who I really am!” So I put on my hood, and I marched down the street setting fire to every black-owned piece of property I could to even the score.

We all have a side chosen for us by God. Perhaps it’s time to accept yours.