That Paris Audience Was Objectively Terrible

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By Jesse Hughes (The Eagles of Death Metal)

When you do as many shows in as many place as we do, you expect a few duds, but that Paris show? Fuck, man.

I hate to chastise an audience for being too intense, but Jesus Christ. There’s a fucking limit, France. To be fair, most of the audience members were great, and I hate to call out an entire country for a few bad apples, but holy shit. Like that guy that kept wandering around muttering to himself and really bumming everybody out, or that girl that got backstage and wouldn’t stop talking about how terrible it was to work at JC Penney with Marcy from HR riding her all the time. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, these jerks with a bunch of bombs and guns just start mass murdering people.

I get how someone could get a little out of hand at a rock ‘n roll show, but that was way over the line. Is that how you folks act in France? Because if that’s the case then we’ve got you all wrong over in America. All of our jokes about France have to do with you being fancy-pantsed dandies and for some reason frogs, not homicidal murderers. I don’t know how we had you pegged so wrong. Though I suppose I shouldn’t judge your whole country on one experience, that would be as ignorant as it would be offensive. Besides, I don’t really think it has anything to do with your country. I think it has a great deal more to do with “Metal.”

My first thought watching all of the non-famous people getting slaughtered, after being whisked away to safety backstage, was that it was all pretty terrible. My second thought was that it was also very Metal. Maybe Metal wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure it sounds cool, but when you see it laid out in front of you like that… I just don’t think it’s my cup of tea. Not even the audience, who came to see a band with “Metal” in their name, were cool with any of that shit. Nor should they have been. They were there to have a good time. They just wanted to listen to some so-so music from some band their friend likes while getting drunk and maybe trying to score some drugs. Sure they saw Metal on the marquee, but they couldn’t have known. None of us could have known just how Metal that show was going to get.

While it should be obvious to most of you by this point, I want to state it plainly; just because we have the word “Metal” in the name of our band does not mean that we approve of violence in any way, shape or form. Or foam, while we’re at it. Sounds too much like form for my liking. If you want to be violent towards each other, do it somewhere else. Start a fight club or pee on a stranger at the urinal or something. Don’t bring it to our shows. We don’t even really play Metal, you know. It’s more like this bluegrassy rock kinda thing. If you took a second to listen to our music instead of strapping yourselves with bombs, guns and your bad attitudes, you may have realized that this wasn’t that kind of show before you went ahead and ruined everyone else’s good time.

For these reasons and several others that we’re keeping private for political reasons, Josh Homme and I have decided to change the name of, “The Eagles of Death Metal.” It was a name we once loved, but current circumstances have changed that love into something twisted. We never wanted things to be this way. We never wanted to bring this horrible Metal into your lives. We only thought it would be funny to have the word Metal in our band name, but words can be powerful. We know that now. From now on, we’re going to perform with an attitude of positivity and a name to go with it.

From here on out, you can call us, “The Eagles of Death.”