Smash Mouth Crushed To Death By Misplaced Nostalgia

SAN JOSE, CA–Fans of ironically popular band Smash Mouth are devastated today as news spread of the band’s demise during a fatal show in their hometown of San Jose when all five current members were crushed by an unstoppable mass of misplaced nostalgia while performing their hit song All Star.

Those in attendance say the nostalgia came out of nowhere and there was nothing the security detail could do about it even if they had wanted to, which witnesses said they showed little to no interest in anyhow. One concert goer, Chelsea Hancock, said, “One minute the lead singer, I don’t know his name, was saying ‘Some-‘ over and over again, I’m not sure how many times, and the next an invisible wave seemed to be suddenly crushing them and they were all dead. It was horrible.”

While misplaced nostalgia has always been something of a black eye to popular art, this was something we had never seen before.

“Nostalgia is something that gets in the way of progress in almost every art form but this is certainly far and above that,” said pop art researcher Dan Pringler of Harvard University. “Nostalgia will often times inflate an artist that is past their prime unduly, or perhaps hoodwink otherwise intelligent people into wasting money on something they probably somewhat foolishly loved as a child, but in all my years researching pop culture I have never seen it manifest itself into a physical force that couldtake human life.

“These reports, if true, are chilling to say the least.”

What the gruesome death of Smash Mouth will mean to ironically popular bands from the ’90s and the scientific community remain to be seen but many believe that this could lead to a dramatic decrease in the public’s love of nostalgia once they know their lives are at stake. Many are wondering who could be next. Currently several Harvard interns are closely monitoring the inventor of Pogs, Thadeous J. Pog, in the event that he comesto a sudden end so they can study the occurrence and hopefully take steps to prevent them from happening again in the future.