Ricky Gervais Sentenced to Spend Rest of Life as Ricky Gervais

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Early Monday morning the highest comedy court in the land has sentenced Ricky Gervais to spend the rest of his life looking, sounding and acting like Ricky Gervais for his many crimes against comedy. The sentence is a controversial one, as many believe that the it falls under the very definition of “cruel and unusual punishment” while others believe the sentencing to be too lenient.

The verdict was reached in the face of stacks of evidence proving to the court that Gervais’ additions to comedy fell very short of both what he believed that he was worth and what he had taken from the comedy community. Under the direction of the prosecution, the jury was forced to watch Extras, Special Correspondents, Muppets Most Wanted, David Brent: On the Road and finally Invention of Lying. The defense brought the British Office to the proceedings and while many enjoyed it a great deal more than everything else they were shown, they still found it to be a cheap and much less enjoyable knockoff of the American Office.

In Gervais’ defense, his lawyer argued that comedy was very hard and that Gervais’ bad attitude and inability to tell a decent joke was rooted in insecurity and not something that the barely famous star was particularly proud of. The jury didn’t buy it, with the foreman even going so far to comment, “If a man commits murder and isn’t “particularly proud of it” that man is still a murderer and if Ricky Gervais makes one halfway decent show and spends the next fifteen years failing on an international level, then Ricky Gervais is a murderer. Plain and simple.” These comments left many in the courtroom concerned that some members of the jury believed this to be a murder trial and it was then reiterated that it was only a crime against comedy they were weighing in on. However, the foreman chose not to retract his statement.

Gervais will be serving his time in the public spotlight for the foreseeable future as both a punishment to himself and to the world that allowed him to achieve fame.