On December 20th, 2016, a popular celebrity said something stupid in a thirty second clip taken out of context from their podcast and people around the country couldn’t avoid hearing about it from their local radio DJs every time they had the misfortune of hearing the radio before connecting their Bluetooth devices.
The quote in question, which was undeniably quite stupid, certainly did not warrant that kind of attention according to most listeners. Local DJ and cartoon hillbilly Swampy T. said after hearing the news for the first time, “You mean to tell me that a celebrity with the television show, several late night talk show appearances, their own podcast and a CB radio station somehow said something that that was kind of stupid for a couple seconds? Well golly! I ain’t never heard of that happening before!” He then used his pitchfork to move a clump of hay onto another clump of hay, “You know what we do people like that around here for doin’ something like that? Well? Do you? ‘Cause I’d sure like to know. I haven’t seen my wife in six years, ever since she went out to the woods to find out what those loud bangs were and I’d sure like to know what happened to her.”
Experts believe that the celebrity will recover from the gaff, or at least their career will. The delicate psyche of a celebrity is fragile, however, and many doctors believe that they may not ever feel like themselves again. We at The Trashcan are certainly no doctors, but we do believe that if somebody says something even a little bit silly they should be chastised, cast away from society and preferably hung by the neck until death. Whether this celebrity warrants such punishment, however, is of course up to the courts to decide and we are prepared to stand by that ruling.