Police Tired of Being Judged by Color of Their Uniform and Not Content of Their Character

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Minneapolis, MN – In the last week the American Justice System and more specifically the police have come under a great deal of scrutiny over several routine murders that were unfortunately caught on video and distributed via internet to most of the country. While this is hardly news to African Americans or anyone working within the police department, the amount of heat the police are getting in response has many of them worried that people are judging them simply for the way the appear, as if one police officer is always going to be exactly the same as the next, which they maintain is certainly not the case.

Local Minneapolis Police Commissioner Gump Futz spoke with us in his office on the issue. “It just isn’t fair to judge us on the actions of a few people,” he said while highlighting the names of female traffic stops he found attractive to look up later, “it’s not as if we all fragrantly abuse our power like that.”

“People get these bad ideas about us from TV and movies where they always see us playing either the bad guy or ‘one of the good ones’ and they go into situations with preconceived notions that just aren’t fair.”

Many might think of Commissioner Futz as an exception to the rule, but he says that simply is not the case.

“I’ve known a lot of good cops in my life and only a small handful of bad ones. To go and judge an entire branch of law enforcement on a few bad eggs is absolutely ridiculous. Ever since the latest whoopsie-daisies, which is what we call hate crimes down at the office, people have gone hog wild blaming the police for every little murder like they know how to be cops better than we do. The fact of the matter is that black people look more like criminals than white people. There, I said it. If you see a big furry brown thing roaring at you in the forest, do you assume it’s a bear and blow it’s brains out or do you risk your life to make sure it isn’t a couple kids in a costume? Of course not. You blow that fucker’s brains out and if it goes bad you figure your story out later. Maybe it turns out you were less at a forest and more wondered into an elementary school drunk, but you’re still alive, aren’t you?”

“Just pray to God nobody got video footage of you killing that bear or you might just find yourself having to be responsible for your actions.”

A pretty stark reminder that if it’s wrong to judge a person by the color of their skin it’s also wrong to judge someone on the profession they chose or expect them to show any responsibility in the field or accountability for their actions or the actions of those that protect the people that are committing these crimes.