PC Police Make 61,900,651 Arrests

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Early Friday afternoon, Obama made the controversial and unprecedented decision of granting the PC Police authority over American citizens, giving them just as much power as the current Police in charge of such crimes as murder, attempted murder, thinking about murder, and waving flashlights when the power goes out. Though the PC Police have a much more singular focus than the standard police force, they have already made more arrests in one day than they made in the last three years, taking in 61,900,651 members of the American public for their un-PC behavior.

From vagrant racism for not even attempting to pronounce someone’s foreign-sounding name, the PC Police have rounded citizens up and locked them within cages two miles beneath the earth’s surface, which is all within the context of the law President Obama signed just earlier this afternoon. It simply states that the PC Police must keep them alive until their court date, it says nothing of the type of accommodation they should provide nor any kind of bodily harm the subjects could suffer under. For example; many inmates are reporting both body-shaming, inappropriate snickers and genital mutilation are all occurring within the¬†the cage walls.

Obama has been unavailable for comment since the announcement but many believe that this is just one of many wrenches Obama has thrown into the gear of the Trump machine. Knowing full-well that Trump will immediately reverse the a law upon arriving into office, Obama certainly knows that at this point there’s nothing to be done about preventing his imminent Presidency, so he might as well fuck with him.

Trump, when reached for comment, wanted only to talk about the new Apprentice, calling Arnold Schwarzenegger both not talented nor wealthy enough to “wipe his ass” before breaking down to tears and admitting that he’s just jealous that he doesn’t get to do the show anymore now that he has a real job and doesn’t get to have any fun.