NASA Creates Birth Control Pill For Men That Evaporates Testicles Until Needed

NASA County, USA- For many years women have been asking for an easy alternative to birth control that had men taking on the added risks and side effects opposed to women and today NASA may finally have their answer.

Since abandoning the space program in 1975, NASA has taken to trying to solve the birth control crisis in recent decades. Until their reported findings earlier this morning, we hadn’t heard much about their advancements, but a breakthrough was made in their Houston labs late last week. After taking Friday off and celebrating vigorously on their many yachts, in some cases even switching yachts with other fellow NASA yacht owners to get a feel for the different models they may buy come next yacht season. They returned to the office the following week ready to announce their findings to the world.

In the past when news broke of a male birth control pill there were talks of it causing pain, mood swings and in some extreme cases even slight nausea, which men around the world declared was not something they could deal with due to their bodies and minds just being generally much weaker than that of a woman’s body. Fortunately this new pill designed by NASA is not only painless, it’s also a mood stabilizer and makes certain kinds of fabric feel softer than they’ve ever felt before.

That doesn’t mean it won’t come without its negative side effects. Some that have taken the pill said they experienced an almost indistinguishable amount of dry mouth and that the pill is a little hard to swallow as it’s shaped like a diamond as opposed to an oval, making the hard edges slightly unpleasant going down a throat that may or may not be slightly dryer than usual. Other than that, the pill seems to do exactly as it’s supposed to as the patient’s testicles seem to evaporate a mere 45 minutes after the pill is digested without pain to the patient.

For those that are worried that their penis is going to just be hanging there all by himself with nobody to talk to, fear not; the fleshy sack will remain giving your penis a soft, stuffing-less pillow to stretch out on. NASA has stated that, as a lark, people could stretch the skin of their testicle sack over household items for a laugh. Possibly over a lamp shape, the remote control or the family dog’s face. As any father knows, nothing makes the kids laugh quite like comically suffocating the family pet with loose testicle skin.

The pill will be available for market by the time this article is posted for $1.99 a bottle with no need for a prescription.