Mother Concerned Child Spends Too Much Time On Computer, Not Enough Learning Important Tire Swing Skills

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A concerned mother recently expressed concern to fellow parents about the excessive amount of time her daughter was spending at the computer instead of learning important life lessons such as what one would do if they were confronted by a tire hanging suspended from a tree branch.

Reports say the mother, age 43, worried that her daughter would grow up knowing almost nothing about the basic mechanics of what a tire would do elevated roughly three feet off the ground above a patch of solid ground if she were confronted with it in the real-world. “I just don’t think learning how to “program” “apps” is a good use of my Karen’s time,” the mother said during her weekly bookclub meeting that she was once again bullshitting through as she hadn’t had time to read the book since Cake Wars had been new that week. “These computers are ruining kids. They get out in the world and have no idea how to use a tire swing on even an amateur level and they expect to get a job? A job at what? Computers? Who’s ever heard of that?”

When several other mothers from the meeting tried to explain to Karen’s mother that there were quite a few jobs in computers these days and that most of their grown children in fact had fairly lucrative jobs working with computers, the mother of one scoffed, saying, “That’s all well and good for your children, but I expect mine to actually do something productive with their lives. Like Tire Swing Maintenance and Repair, Rope Removal or Tire Swing Injury Lawyer.”

Though the mothers remained quiet on the subject for the rest of the meeting, their positions were made obvious by Karen’s mother never being asked back to the the bookclub and even told at the supermarket that they had disbanded even though the website was still up and consistently updated as Karen would show her on her computer.