J-Cool’s Post-Apocalypse Guide

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The world of apocalypse survival guides are absolutely filled to the brim with bad advice. They’ll tell you how to stock water, how to use a gun and even in some cases how to find and maintain a meaningful relationship in the inevitable apocalypse. Yet none of these guides give you the information you’ll need to make the rest of your life as simple as possible. That’s where I come in. With this guide, you’re sure to get everything you can out of the apocalypse and, if you play your cards right, might even enjoy it a little bit.

1.  Get a gun.

This is going to take a little pre-planning but it’s simply a must. Many will tell you the make and model of the gun they believe you should own, but personally I believe that just about any gun will do. I suggest buying cheap.

2.  Put it in your mouth.

It’s the biggest hole in your face with the hard white things and the big red worm in it. Just go with me on this one.

3.  Pull the trigger.

It’s the little half-circle thing inside of the trigger guard. You can’t miss it.

 

There you have it! Everything you need to know to survive the apocalypse!