I Don’t Even Know Who I Am Anymore

tumblr_inline_nyvcrzMRC21qcgwrq_500

By Barrack Obama

I knew this job wasn’t going to be easy, but I had no idea it would be like this.

When ran for this job, I ran as a man with hope. A man with a vision for this country. I believed it, too. I had big dreams to bridge the wage gap with reasonable measures like universal healthcare and less discrimination when it comes to racial and sexual biases. That all changed pretty quick. It feels like all I’ve been doing lately is walk from one room to another to tell the nation that, hey, look, someone murdered a bunch of us again. Was it soldiers from another country or perhaps some sort of terrorist organization? No? It was just some confused, angry, seemingly normal American citizen with virtually unlimited access to easily affordable and disturbingly powerful weapons? Of course it was. That’s all it ever is lately. It’d be too damn easy if someone gave us a villain we could actually fight.

Reagan and Bush had it easy with the Cold War Russians. Now there was a hell of a villain. They were big, scary and they just seemed like bad dudes all around. I’m not saying that Russians are bad people, but they didn’t make it difficult to label them that way, and they didn’t seem to really mind it. Say what you will about Communist Russia, they knew how to play the heel and the US went with it for as long as we could. We needed an enemy and one that we weren’t losing many lives to was the best of both worlds. At least until Vietnam. Then things got a little more messy and it was time to put a stop to the little feud. I wish I had a Vietnam over this shit.

Fighting terrorism is hard enough on its own. These are people that could be anywhere, look and sound like anyone and they don’t even need much equipment to do what they need to do. They don’t even care about their own lives, making it all but impossible to reason with. They’re a horrifying opponent. They don’t want anything but to kill people that value their lives. That’s some fucked up shit to deal with as a President, man.

We’re looking down the barrel of another massive, international conflict. I don’t know what exactly it’s going to be, but I’ve seen the signs before. The civil unrest, the tiny little pockets of violence bubbling up all over the world. The people we’ve done wrong to and the people we’ve ignored aren’t going to just sit by and wait for us to roll over and die. They’re going to come for us. They’re going break off a sliver of the pain we’ve put on them and theirs all these years and they’re going to stab us with it. It’s hard to say that we don’t deserve it. Not as individuals, but as a whole. If you could count a whole nation as responsible for that nation’s actions. Philosophically, I find issue with that, but you can’t tell people what they feel is wrong. You can’t aim your hate, you just hate. We gave them plenty of reason to hate us, and we continue to do it.

You don’t want to let Syrian refugees into this country? What in the world is wrong with you people? Who were your parents? Who taught you that turning down orphans was not only a noble thing to do, but an American thing to do? That’s the furthest damn thing from American there is. This is the land of the free, the country where no matter where you came from, no matter what war or outdated class system, you can find a second chance. I’m sorry to say, but America just isn’t like that anymore. Today America is just another place to feel unwelcome. Another place to not only be ridiculed for who you are but to be denied access for it. Those that do make it into the country are harassed and in some cases beaten. Hell, it wasn’t until a year ago that gay people could get married. Do you realize how fucked up that is? I’ve run out of sympathy for the people of this nation. I used to believe in us.

I used to think that we were the greatest nation in the world. That may still be the case, but if you’d seen as much of the world as I have, you’d know that isn’t saying much.

I did the best that I could.