Hillary Clinton Arrested Over Email Scandal, Murder, Shoplifting Charges

Hillary Clinton

The Hillary Clinton campaign to become President has hit a number of rocky roads in the past year and a half. Though many believed she had this thing in the bag, almost everyone was surprised to find her lose the race come election day and many believed this would be the┬álast we heard of Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately for Hillary, it’s only just begun.

When the race started she was on top of the world. Sure, there was the matter of her using sensitive emails on an insecure server while serving as Secretary of State, but once the republican candidate turned out to be Donald J. Trump, a man so ill-equipped to become President that his campaign was considered a joke to many, including those in his own party, a majority of the American people felt so comfortable in thinking that Hillary would win that many of them voted for Harambe, a dead monkey that was popular in the news several months ago. Now, after losing the election and not rising to the highest office in the land, there was nothing she or her people could do to prevent her from being arrested for three counts; the email scandal, for bludgeoning a woman to death with a purse full of tiny airplane liquor bottles in Iowa on August 15th, 1994, and shoplifting a pack of batteries that she forgot she was holding.

The batteries and the murder charges might be of a great concern to many Americans, but those emails and what they may or may not contain certainly are. A great deal of Americans are still afraid of email, thinking that it is some sort of hack that’s going to steal their credit cards, their souls or even possibly their credit cards’ souls and they trust Hillary even less, her being a woman that was cheated on. It’s hard to trust someone who trusted someone that turned out to be untrustworthy because perhaps the reason she was with that person was because they shared a common love of breaking people’s trust, after all.

In Hillary’s defense the package of batteries were returned once she had realized what she had done and the woman she was seen murdering on a high definition┬ásecurity camera at a shopping mall in Iowa was reached for comment and we so far have gotten no response, leaving us to believe that she has most likely forgiven the former First Lady and Secretary of State. We will update the article if we get a response, so please check back.


  • Hermen

    I get so tired of clickbait. There are five different FBI investigations going on and no she has not been arrested