President Donald Trump Receives Highest Approval Rating Since Reagan

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks to supporters as he takes the stage for a campaign event in Dallas, Monday, Sept. 14, 2015. (AP Photo/LM Otero)

In a surprising turn of events, President Donald Trump has received a higher percentage of American approval than any President since Ronald Reagan, according to The Trashcan’s polling, which is not only inaccurate but was not even conducted in any way, shape or form.

Even though what brought you to this page was likely the fact that a Trump supporter posted it on their wall without reading it, most likely only two or three posts behind a declaration that “fake news” was ruining this country, they themselves seem to be just the sort of idiot that is susceptible to this “fake news.”

Like a dog trying to warn you that somebody is barking, this sad, pathetic individual probably spends most of their time talking about how dumb and inconsiderate people are while cleaning their gutters with a pistol and luring children into his apartment with the promise of building a box kite.

If you know and love the person that reposted this article, I’m sorry if this has offended you. If you are the person that reposted this article, maybe this would be a good opportunity to take a step back and think about what you’re doing. You either get to claim that fake news is ruining this country or you get to repost it. You can’t have both.

If you’re a man, your penis is small. If you’re a woman, your vagina is large. If you prefer a small penis/large vagina, then it is the opposite of that. If you’re neither, perhaps some kind of plant or water-based mammal, find a childish insult that feels most appropriate for yourself and feel it deep down inside. Let it cut you. Let it hurt.

Let this fake news be the last you ever repost.