Trump Demands Apology After Hearing Reince Priebus Was Booed Out of Haunted House

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The Trump administration can’t seem to catch a break since this past November 8th, but apparently, even unbeknownst until today, his future Cabinet members weren’t having it so easy even before the results were in.

Reince Priebus told Trump this morning, while shaking and barely holding back sobs of terror, that while attending a local Haunted House attraction with his children this past October 31st, he had been not only booed incessantly but literally chased from the premises by a man wearing a large white gown with nothing but eye-holes cut out. Trump was shocked that a man in such a garment would come after one of his people like that, especially considering how many dressed in just such a uniform gave to his campaign, but even more-so because Haunted Houses were supposed to be a fun experience for the whole family, not a place where someone is ridiculed and mocked for their religious or political beliefs.

“It’s an absolute outrage,” Trump said on Twitter in several dozen carelessly-worded tweets early this afternoon, “this Presidency belongs to me, fair and square, and to see these haters and losers going after my people like this is just sickening. If there were a liberal candidate becoming President, for example my opponent, that disgusting, nasty woman who’s name I didn’t bother to remember, everyone would be treating her with the respect she earned when she became the President elect. I, however, have to deal with this nonsense. This unnecessary and totally unfair bullying that, quite frankly, is wholly un-American.” Trump then posted a gif of a cat angrily clacking away at a keyboard before returning with, “You’re all a bunch of dweebs and I’ll have you all executed the second I get the chance!”

Seconds later he deleted that final tweet, posting in its place a gif of a squirrel getting hit by a car with the caption under it reading, “Obamacare.”

Many followers and non-followers alike suggested to Trump that perhaps Priebus was just confronted by a man in a ghost costume just doing his job, to which Trump responded by blocking those people, calling them “losers” and “ghost apologists”.

“The Klan is dead to me if they aren’t willing to apologize for the unjust way they treated my good friend. If not, we will go our separate ways and they can have their dirty money back,” Trump tweeted, then quickly deleted, claiming his Twitter was hacked, then re-posted the same message without including,”they can have their dirty money back.”

“Nobody backs papa’s little man into a corner,” Trump tweeted lastly, “You leave my baby boy alone, I don’t need your money.” Before deleting and revising the part about not needing their money.