NEW DONK CITY– Mario’s newest addition, a sentient hat, has stirred up controversy before his big debut in what many consider to be a sexist, poorly-worded rant about the state of New Donk City under Mayor Pauline and Nintendo has already taken action to remove Cappy from the newest Mario title, Super Mario Odyssey.
The offending post has been removed but there are many screen grabs of the sexist, racist and even somewhat homophobic rant are spreading across the internet like wildfire. The post makes Cappy’s beliefs very clear on everything from women in the workplace to the rights of Nazi Goombas in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Shorty after the post started making the rounds Nintendo released the following statement:
It has come to our attention that an employee we not only hired but created, has made his political stances public. While we at Nintendo were aware of Cappy’s… unfortunate beliefs, had he simply kept them to himself or just goofing around the office, we could have continued a courteous and professional working relationship. Following this recent public display, however, we feel it would be best for both parties to cut all ties and would appreciate it if Cappy would go quietly, perhaps drowning alone in a gutter.
Mario fans are disappointed in the news as they were very much looking forward to throwing Cappy at enemies in the next game, but Nintendo says not to worry. They’re already looking for a replacement hat so centrist that it doesn’t even know how it feels about Donald Trump yet.
We tried to get in touch with Cappy before publishing the article but were unable to get a response. The Trashcan may not believe in what you have to say and have conflicting thoughts on your right to say them, Cappy, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t looking forward to throwing you at shit.