Trump’s 3-Step Healthcare Plan


As we all know by now (and a big part of why we voted for him) Donald Trump is going to repeal Obamacare the first chance he gets. This has left a lot of critics wondering what he’s going to replace it with. Well, that’s a great question and luckily Big D has spelled out his answer for us in an easy to read 3-step plan that’s dumbed down enough even for the most liberal of those among us should be able to understand.

1) Don’t get sick
The first step to not suckling at the teet of the healthcare system is to not need it at all. It is a misconception that people need to get sick. Much like unemployment, it’s simply a case of the weak-willed trying to skate by without making an effort. You don’t want to get sick? Don’t go outside in the cold, stay away from germs and for the love of God don’t splash around in radioactive waste. I cannot stress that last one enough.
2) No more poor people
In the case that you do get sick, you’re not going to want to be poor. When poor people get sick, for reasons science cannot yet explain, they just seem to get sicker until they die. While someone with money is most likely going to go to the doctor and get medicine, for some reason poor people think they’d be better off just trying to tough it out until, through some miracle, they are no longer sick. Why these people don’t simply go to the doctor I do not and will never understand, but there is a pretty clear connection that getting sick while being poor will most likely lead to the death of Americans, so we’re going to have to get rid of them.
3) Eat shit and die
Like I give a fuck. If you don’t have at least half of my name in your name, drop dead. I can’t wait until this country is just me, the Trump family and Donald Sutherland.

There you have it! Easy, concise, cost-effective and just overall an incredibly sexy plan that will lead to the hardest, most refreshing erections possible.